THE widow and friends of a “giant of a man” who died of a brain tumour are celebrating his life by raising money for cancer care charities. Lieutenant Commander John Phesse, 47, Air Engineering Officer on Sea Harrier jets with 814 Squadron at RNAS Culdrose, died in Helston Community Hospital after a 21 month battle.
He left a widow, Ali and three young daughters-Ellie, seven, Kate, six and Isabel, three.
A larger than life figure-six feet six inches tall, fit, a keen runner and rower, his symptoms began in December 2005, as his wife was giving birth to their third daughter.
“He had pins and needles in his hands and feet,” explained Ali. Based at RNAS Culdrose, he had gone to Malta with his squadron but was flown home early because of numbness in his face.
Ali took him to the Royal Cornwall Hospital the next day where a CT scan revealed a mass on the brain. A cranial biopsy at Derriford Hospital revealed a non-operable brain tumour and John was given four months to live.
After six weeks of intensive radio therapy at Treliske he went back to Helston and was mainly cared for at home. Hospital Macmillan Nurse Eve Thorp,clinical nurse specialist Angela Carey and speech and language therapist Carrie Biddle were among those who helped him as he underwent chemotherapy and other treatment during a 21 month battle.
He was also given physiotherapy at Helston hospital by Viv martin and Michelle Earl, who run the palliative care clinic, as he tried to stand and walk. “He was determined to be independent.” said Ali.
Despite his disability he managed family holidays in France and Greece, but his greatest joy was in being at home watching his children grow up.
By June 2007 the tumour had grown, so the chemotherapy stopped and he gradually deteriorated. He went to Treliske, but the Macmillan nurses helped him get back to Helston Hospital where he was near his home and he died there on August 15, 2007.
Ali, Phesse has been so touched by the help John received a chair lift from the Royal British Legion and help to send the children to nursery school from the Royal Navy Children’s Fund and the Forces Children’s Trust-that she is keen to raise money to help them help others. Marie Curie Nurses came in to help at night near the end of John’s life and, she says, the care from the Macmillan nurses and Penhaligon’s Friends continued after his death.
Ali, once a competitive swimmer, raised £1,800 for Marie Curie by completing a 5,000 metre swimathon and last week she presented a cheque for £2,300 to Macmillan Cancer Support, based in Truro, in memory of John. It had been raised at a Sea Harrier Association dinner at RNAS Yeovilton, attended by many of his friends.
Four of those friends came to Truro for the presentation- Tom Dawson, chairman of the Sea Harrier Association, Brian Stanley and Lew Lewin, who also served with him, and Lt Cdr Graham Napier, who joined the Navy at the same time and served with him on HMS Illustrious and HMS Invincible.
Graham, who is heading to serve in Afghanistan this week, said”: “I was his best man, and godfather to his children. He was a wonderful friend.”
Tom Dawson added: “We were touched by him. He was the sort of guy you would want as a friend or a son. People who worked with him would do anything for him, we loved him.”
For his widow and her young children the loss is even harder. “We met in 1994, married four years later and moved around before being posted to Cornwall in 2004,” she said. “He was tall, fit, blond with blue eyes, very handsome. I feel I have to do something for the organizations which helped him-I’m on a mission.” If you are interested in marking a donation or organizing an event for either of these charities call 01209 211442 for Macmillan Cancer support or 01872 260500 for Marie Curie. Cancer Care. A donation to the Forces Children's Trust can be made via Pay Pal on this Website.